All of us as parents need to find a way to have the proper tension between developing a good relationship with our child and understanding yes we do represent authority and we will establish boundaries...
- For when I have the kids
all by myself or when I become a stay at home mommy....
First, always take a shower and get ready for the day. Second, stop watching too much TV. (even if you have it on as background noise...the kids will get sucked in) Third, create a schedule for yourself.
- One of the best things parents can do is hug their baby and say
I love you and
I remember where you are and
I will be back. Turn and leave....Do not look back. Do not linger. Do not pass go and collect $200.
- The best thing for parents to do...(and I sometimes get parents saying no--no that doesn’t make sense because it sounds like you are condoning it) ...the best thing to do is
ignore the behavior if it is non destructive. If they are injuring themselves or kicking your walls or doing something that is hostile you can’t ignore it. If they are just pitching a fit on the floor screaming and hollering ignore it and walk out of the room.
- Like it or not, children want to be just like their parents. If I want my son to be respectful of his elders, speak with kindness, and think before he speaks, then
I must learn to be a good example.
- If you have a preschooler who is
resisting going to bed at night there is a reason for that. You are the center of the universe to them and they don’t want to be separated from the action. Most self respecting preschoolers are going to stall and fiddle around and resist going to bed. It’s not pleasant but it is normal behavior. At least you know your child is typical. For my daughter, money talked. In the preschool years she would get a whole quarter for her allowance. I remember saying to her one time, “Laura if you get out of bed again
I’m going to have to take a quarter out of your bank.” Well, like a self respecting preschooler she had to push the envelope and she jumped out of bed. But mom is a promise keeper and I said, “Laura I’m sorry that you chose to get out of bed now I’m going to have to take that quarter.”
And she hopped back in bed and did the “I’m in bed now” thing that kids do because they want you to back pedal and I said, “I told you I’d have to take a quarter for you getting out of bed and you chose to get out of bed.” I went over and shook a quarter out of her piggy bank and walked out of the room with that coin in my hand feeling like a big creep. But guess what? She never got out of bed again because she trusted my words. She knew I meant what I said.
- You eat or you don’t and if you don’t the consequence is that you get hungry but parents have to allow that consequence to happen and not rescue the child by an hour later fixing a meal for them.
Your job is to present the food and make sure it is healthy. Their job is to eat it or not. It’s very simple. You don’t have to cross over the line and do their job for them and beg or trick them to eat.
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Spanking is giving a child a measured amount of pain in close association with something that they have done wrong. The problem with spanking – the reason that it’s so often criticized, and justly so is because parents often are out of control with their children. It’s not a measured amount of pain, it’s not thought through ahead of time. So there’s a vast difference between abusive, physical harm to a child, and a measured amount of pain that’s administered by a loving parent. (
The Fine Art of Discipline)
